Love is a complex emotion that involves feelings of great fondness, attraction, respect, caring, and understanding towards someone despite their weaknesses and faults.
Infatuation evokes somewhat similar emotions more intensely, but the feelings are usually short lived and fade away as quickly as they begin.
While relationships are often associated with sex, most people actually want respect, trust, honesty, understanding and caring partners. Building a good relationship takes time, patience and good effective communication. Sex is not the way to build a close relationship. Sex is not the only way to show you love someone. In fact, sex can ruin a relationship. It can end in a broken heart and a diseased body. Chaste touch and respectful honest talk can be equally satisfying.
Intimacy is defined as the ability and need to be emotionally close to another human being and have that closeness reciprocated. Intimacy makes personal relationships rich. Intimacy focuses on emotional closeness (liking and loving). A couple can enjoy intimacy without having sexual intercourse. Sexual intimacy is facilitated by feelings of sensuality.
Sensuality is the awareness and feeling about your own body and other people’s bodies. Sensuality enables us to feel good about how we look and feel and what the body can do. It enables us to enjoy the pleasure our bodies can give others and ourselves. It reflects our body image (whether we feel attractive and proud of our own body). It satisfies our need for physical closeness – to be touched and held by others in loving and caring ways. These feelings begin during adolescence and they affect how we think, relate to and behave towards others.
Touch can be good, confusing or bad. Good touch includes kissing, a pat on the back, brushing hair, hugging and holding hands. Bad touch can be pinching, biting, kicking, hitting, slapping or punching and forced sex. Confusing touch can be back rubs, a long hug, tickling and touching private parts.
The reasons why teenagers say yes to sex include peer pressure, to avoid loneliness, to receive presents, to satisfy curiosity, to become parents, to feel independent or to hold on to a relationship.
Teenagers may say no to sex to wait for marriage, to find the right partner, to avoid STIs, HIV and pregnancies, to pursue school and a career, to safeguard their reputation and respect their moral, personal or religious beliefs and values.
Advice to teens: Until and unless you feel ready to take your relationship to the next level, stand your ground and say No. Consent should be explicit, not inferred or coerced.