Values are things that are important to us, things we support, things we would defend, beliefs, principles, ideas that define us, things that guide our behavior and lives, things we freely choose.
They can be personal, a value or in behavior. Values are all around us. Love your neighbor, honesty, integrity, kindness, being fair, tolerance, compassion, empathy, dignity, trust, respect, the list goes on and on. Our values are evident in what we say, what we do, and what we chose not to say or do.
Teens who have a strong sense of right and wrong also are more likely to become stable, healthy adults with a clear sense of their place in this complex world we live in. They carry these ideals into their relationships with others including friends, romantic partners, their school, and the workplace.
Communicating important values to teens provides them with a moral compass to guide their decisions now and in the future. We teach these values every day without even thinking about it, by our actions and words. Make each day count.
Being kind to others, being aware of how they make others feel, and giving yourself permission to take time out for yourself are just some of the core values we catch our children doing.
Every family’s values may be different, but their effect on young people is the same, values offer a connection to loved ones. Attendance at religious functions where spiritual leaders remark on values and behavioral expectations may also provide your child with a sense of what you value. Or spending time with other trusted adults such as extended family, neighbors, community leaders, or coaches allows them to learn valuable lessons from those in your social network. Make an effort to connect teens to family, friends, school, and the community. Young people with close ties are more likely to have a solid sense of security and self-awareness that produces strong values and prevents them from seeking destructive alternatives.
Raise teens with unconditional love, knowing that they are loved no matter what. Consider allowing the teens to take appropriate risks and to test boundaries as they strive to identify what matters most to them. Be their role model by being real about yourself too. We all struggle to be our best selves and it is okay to do so.
Reflect with other teen parents and teens to exchange ideas on how to do the right thing even when no one is looking.